Drabbles in D Minor
by Cradlerobber Speedo-kun
Summary: As title suggests, drabbles. Current drabble: Kon tries to get what he wants whilst in Ichigo's body. Humor.
1. Ichigo Stared

Ichigo stared. For some reason, in the bathroom, a pink, be-ribboned bra was hanging up, apparently drip-drying. He looked back towards the hall before narrowing his eyes at the bra, "_What the hell is that doing there? Yuzu and Karin are too young for that… right?_" His eyes suddenly widened in horror at that thought that his sisters might actually not be too young for that any more. Had his sisters grown up suddenly without his notice!

"It's mine."

He turned around at the sound of a feminine voice, but one that certainly did not belong to Yuzu or Karin.

"Rukia? But…", he looked back at the pink thing hanging from the curtain rod, "you don't have boobs."

Ichigo found the view from the floor to be hazier than it should've been. Rukia stepped over him, and took the bra down. She walked back out, but paused at the door to look down at Ichigo and the footprint that was clear on his face.

"Hope you got a good look at it, since I doubt you'll ever see one of these again."


	2. Go Figure

A/N: I hate putting this here, but this drabble honestly needs an explanation. Over in the soulsociety livejournal group, there was a conversation discussing bra-sizes of the girls and women of Bleach, and somehow… well, the idea behind the drabble you're about to read came about. Go figure. Shounen-ai.

* * *

He was unsure of how it had begun, but here he was, getting groped and snogged by Kurosaki Ichigo in the science lab. Yes, Ishida Uryuu, Quincy Archer and enemy of shinigami, was being felt up and practically seduced by Ichigo.

It was utterly insane and completely wrong.

But it was still happening. And in the science lab of all places.

And now Ichigo was unbuttoning his shirt…

Wait! Unbuttoning his shirt?

"Uh, Ichigo, don't do that!"

"Mmm, come on, get that stick outta your ass, no one's gonna walk by…"

Suddenly, his fingers stopped expertly slipping the buttons free from the button-holes. Ichigo stared. Ishida flushed an odd shade of reddish purple.

"Ishida… why the fuck are you wearing a corset?"


	3. Missed

A/N: I have no idea if there is any back story to Yamada and Rukia, if they know each other from before Rukia was put on death row and Yamada was assigned food duty for her. I've only been watching the anime. Sad, yes, I know, but I hope you can bear with me.

* * *

He had thought of her as an older sister.

Had being the key word there.

She was never exactly affectionate – she was far too much like her elder brother for that. But she was better company, and actually gave marginal show of approval as opposed to a blank steel face.

He had been a few years behind her at the Academy, but their paths had crossed. He had tripped, and others had laughed at him, but she had wordlessly offered him her hand. And after that he had come to consider her as an older sister figure.

He supposed he realized he liked her more than that when she went missing. He had missed her quite a bit.

Throughout his life, others had always made fun of him for some reason. The most frequent reasons were for his lack of fighting ability and his clumsiness.

Now it was her.

Others had noticed that he missed her a lot. They laughed. Rukia was considered very respectfully as far as things concerning shinigami abilities and power went, but everyone always called her sexless behind her back. His comrades preferred Matsumoto for obvious reasons.

But he liked Rukia best.

And he had missed her.


	4. Oi, Ichigo

"Oi, Ichigo, what does 'gay fag' mean?"

Ichigo immediately looked up from his homework and stared at Rukia, who was calmly reading another of the mangas that she had sadly become addicted to.

"I heard Keigo calling Ishida that, and now they just used it here, too… Ishida just ignored Keigo and kept knitting, but the guy here seems a bit upset…"

Ichigo thought a moment before replying, "It means you aren't straight."

Rukia looked up, confusion actually now showing itself on her features, "Straight?"

Ichigo sweatdropped, "Uhh… ok. Ishida likes boys. Therefore he isn't straight, he's a gay fag. I like girls, therefore I am straight and not a gay fag."

"Oh." Rukia returned to reading the manga, and Ichigo sighed and returned to his homework, thoughts of kicking Keigo in the face running through his head.

A few moments passed when Rukia's voice sounded again, "Keigo thinks Ishida's turning you into a gay fag."

Ichigo's pencil lead broke. Yeah, Keigo was definitely getting kicked in the face. Multiple times.


	5. Resemblance

He shoved him away, "Stop it."

Ichigo staggered a bit, and then frowned at Ishida, "Why?"

Ishida narrowed his eyes and scowled, "Iresemble Rukia."

Ichigo looked away, "Yeah… you do…"


	6. Have you

I had pinched his ass and winked, telling him how much I loved his cooking. He blanched, and stuttered a weak thank you before rushing off.

Have _you_ tortured your vice-captain today?

It's the best part about being a captain. Especially when your vice-captain is Kira Izuru. And also when you know that he's telling the other vice-captains. You see their confused stares. So then you pull him into a close hug for extra measure, and you can almost feel the color draining from his face.

It's fun to scare people.

And to torture your vice-captain.


	7. Sleeves, Marionettes

A/N: Just a small warning. This has an almost-Rrating, and is kinda... creepy. Creepy yaoi. Don't read if you don't like.

* * *

They hear him crying in the night, and sometimes they hear him scream too. And there are the times when they see the ugly bruises around his neck. But they turn away, embarassed and afraid to say anything. Better him than them, after all. And he pulls down the sleeves of his clothes, and now even will wear a long-sleeved shirt underneath And when Hinamori comes to visit him in the evening, he makes sure she always leaves before it gets very late. And whenever there is the slightest hint of chill in the air, he can always be found with a scarf tightly wrapped around his neck.

He wonders if anyone else realizes.

He doesn't shiver and grow pale at Gin's flirtatiousness, which the others take only as being in reverie, any more. He doesn't shrink away from the casual arm thrown about his shoulder, or even blush when his rear is pinched, either.

He's even gotten over feeling weirdly jealous when he sees Gin with Matsumoto.

But only because Gin's doing this to him, and not to her. He hates feeling broken whenever Gin leaves him late in the night, but he knows he doesn't want it to stop. He feels like a splintered marionette afterwards, thrown in the corner after the strings have been jerked about too much. But he likes the feeling as much as he despises it.

And he wonders if it's like this with all the captains and vice-captains.

And then he hopes it's only him.


	8. 4th Division

He glared. He could tell the kid had a crush on her. He was always shy around her, and still tried to call her Rukia-san even though she insisted he call her Rukia-chan. And he usually looked at his feet (or sometimes hers if he was feeling bolder than usual) shyly when talking to her.

He scowled at him again. Didn't someone say that the 4th Division was annoying, or something like that? He tried to remember why they were supposedly annoying, and wondered if it had to do with stealing girlfriends.

He looked back at them, and saw Rukia smiling softly at the kid.

Yeah, it definitely had to be about stealing girlfriends.


	9. Leave it To Yachiruchan

**A/N: **I pretty much ripped the title off of the CardCaptor Sakura short "Leave it to Kero-chan".

* * *

It seemed like a lot of injured people had come to the 4th Division that day for it to have been a normal day. And when she heard the call for captains to report, she wasn't very suprised. She carefully instructed Isane to continue tending to the wounded, and that she should send out a patrol if the flow of injured didn't lessen.

So now she was with the other captains, assembled quietly and awaiting the arrival of Zaraki so that the meeting could commence.

Unfortunately, Zaraki seemed to be running quite late - the call had gone out over fifteen minutes ago, and he had yet to show. She frowned and wondered if there was any way he could've gotten injured in what appeared to be widespread chaos… although it did seem unlikely given that it was Zaraki…

It seemed as if the meeting was going to begin without him, when suddenly a quite small and pink-haired shinigami stumbled in - Yachiru to be exact. She hiccuped and giggled, "Ken-chan can't come to the meeting! He's DRUNK!"

Yamamoto nodded at her, "Well then, I am glad that you had enough discipline to handle the situation and come in his place, young one."

"Oh, I didn't come for Ken-chan! I came to tell you that most of my division is unconscious!"

"Oh? And why is this?"

She smiled, and bounced up to the elder shinigami, "Because Ken-chan gave me sake!"


End file.
